Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
