What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
