I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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