I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
