Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This baby is an asshole
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
