i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize