As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Two words: blizzard sex
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
