Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My feet surprised me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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