scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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