so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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