Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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