How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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