there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
