Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
