i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
