At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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