I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
