3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
