I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
