my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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