she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
