I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
