dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize