playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
