i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
