Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
