He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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