oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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