So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
