Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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