then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize