Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
