My room smells like vodka and shame
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
