remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize