i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
