Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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