Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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