TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
