her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
