i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
