she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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