What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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