ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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