Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
