Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
