Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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