One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
