if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
