I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
