I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize