8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
