My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
