morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
