we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize