Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
