I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
