i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
