I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize