you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
