I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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