If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
