I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
