she smelled like a LAN party
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize