Apparently you make a good broom.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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